Best Practices in Interpersonal Communication
The Writing Center is all about communication–of course! We help writers develop their written communication skills, yes, but we also need to be aware of the other kinds of communication that happen in the Center, too. We have a wonderfully diverse and multicultural college, and we all have different ways of communicating. Part of our job as tutors is bridging cultural differences to meet mutual goals.
Nonverbal Communication
Most of our communication happens nonverbally. Depending on where you look, you’ll find studies that estimate nonverbal communication–sometimes defined as communication that doesn’t involve words–makes up anywhere from 2/3 to 90% of our interactions. Examples of nonverbal communication: touch, eye contact, gestures, facial expressions, posture, dress, volume of speech, physical proximity, tone of voice, and non-word sounds.
It’s important to remember that nonverbal communication is culturally dependent.
Functions of nonverbal communication
From “Functions of Nonverbal Communication“
- Reinforcing a verbal message
- Facial expressions indicating emotion often accompany words that do the same; for example, if someone expresses anger, they might also have an angry expression.
- Substituting for a verbal message
- A nod or a shake of the head can indicate agreement or disagreement; a wave of the hand can substitute for “Hello” or “Goodbye.”
- Contradicting a verbal message
- When asked how they’re doing, someone might say “Fine” but turn away or shrug their shoulders, giving a conflicting message.
- Accentuating a verbal message
- Tone of voice or speed of speech, facial expression, and gestures can indicate emotion, intensifying the verbal message. For example, if someone is excited, they might speak louder or faster, their eyes might be wider, and they might smile or laugh a lot.
- Regulating conversation
- This usually involves hand gestures, nods, or eye contact to indicate turn-taking in conversation, or to ask for someone’s opinion.
Nonverbal cues generally understood in North American cultures
| Gesture | Indicates what? |
|---|---|
| Eye contact | Listening attentively |
| Avoiding eye contact | Shyness, upset |
| Fidgeting | Restlessness, boredom, discomfort |
| Sighing | Impatience, boredom, frustration |
| Yawning/stretching | May indicate boredom or just tiredness |
| Slouching | Frustration or upset, lack of desire to pay attention |
| Crossing arms | Defensiveness, nervousness, lack of desire to engage |
| Turning body away | Defensiveness, lack of desire to engage |
| Frowning | Disagreement, frustration, sometimes concentration or concern |
| Covering face | Embarrassment, upset |
| Slumping shoulders | Defeat, frustration, disappointment |
| Leaning forward | Listening attentively, eagerness |
| Nodding head | Agreement, understanding |
| Smiling | Happiness, agreement, amusement |
Differences in nonverbal communication across cultures
Differences may occur between cultures, genders, ethnicities, or nationalities. Even different regions in the same country might have different nonverbal cues.
Some examples of culturally-dependent cues: dress, body movement, gestures, eye contact, facial expressions, frequency of touch, physical proximity (“personal space”), paralanguage (general tone of voice, speed of speech, hesitation or agreement noises)
A few big differences exist between North American cultures and other cultures in physical proximity, eye contact, and speed/pitch of speech. In the US, strong eye contact is expected, and many Americans speak loudly compared to other cultures. Ironically, we have a larger “personal space bubble” than other cultures depending on context; they don’t usually want to be too close to a stranger. In conversation, Americans express understanding with nods or agreement noises frequently. Speed of speech varies regionally, as does posture, dress, body movement, and frequency of touch.
Resources for nonverbal communication across cultures
- “The shocking differences in basic body language around the world,” in Business Insider: Kathleen Elkins and Mike Nudelman
- “Body Language Around the World,” MosaLingua
- “Cultural Differences in Body Language,” Culture Vulture
What you can do in a tutoring session
- Use open gestures but avoid gesturing too much
- Maintain a neutral posture at first and lean forward only if the writer seems comfortable with it
- Mirror positive body language
- Control speech volume
- Be aware of your tone
- Be aware of how the writer reacts to your body language
- Smile! This is a universal gesture.
Effective Listening Skills
This document has a lot of information on the importance of effective listening and tips for listening more effectively. Clicking link will take you to a Google document. You can read it there or download the document by clicking “File” then “Download as.” The document is fully accessible to screen reader users.
Conflict and Interpersonal Communication
This document has a lot of information on the importance of managing conflict, especially at work. Clicking link will take you to a Google document. You can read it there or download the document by clicking “File” then “Download as.” The document is fully accessible to screen reader users.